Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
the liver wants what the liver wants
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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