Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??

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  (407): big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in?? http://tfl.nu/zn6n
  Replies (36) Good night (1923) Bad night (554)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.

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  (606): I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now. <3 Russia http://tfl.nu/k3de
  Replies (72) Good night (6604) Bad night (803)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations

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  (228): yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations http://tfl.nu/eytk
  Replies (16) Good night (5676) Bad night (638)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview

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  (731): i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview http://tfl.nu/woj8
  Replies (22) Good night (4019) Bad night (1339)
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  (716): View more from New York

  He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.

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  (716): He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready. http://tfl.nu/z83a
  Replies (9) Good night (4963) Bad night (839)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.

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  (724): All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough. http://tfl.nu/tdyq
  Replies (4) Good night (1176) Bad night (1780)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.

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  (850): Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either. http://tfl.nu/kaox
  Replies (1) Good night (1305) Bad night (1898)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?

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  (330): if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck? http://tfl.nu/xqma
  Replies (8) Good night (835) Bad night (1227)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.

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  (+44): I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it. http://tfl.nu/xxfg
  Replies (3) Good night (2240) Bad night (566)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."

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  (727): My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ." http://tfl.nu/nnzb
  Replies (4) Good night (2548) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE

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  (407): SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE http://tfl.nu/zlef
  Replies (8) Good night (2114) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract

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  (515): Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract http://tfl.nu/mnf5
  Replies (3) Good night (357) Bad night (972)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.

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  (904): I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night. http://tfl.nu/zawb
  Replies (1) Good night (265) Bad night (539)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin

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  (914): I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin http://tfl.nu/vobt
  Replies (2) Good night (585) Bad night (317)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?

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  (717): How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!? http://tfl.nu/zxwn
  Replies (14) Good night (322) Bad night (460)

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