By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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