so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
