Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets

  (818): View more from California

  julia child would be proud.

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  (310): i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets (818): julia child would be proud. http://tfl.nu/gv9u
  Replies (15) Good night (4798) Bad night (914)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?

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  (513): Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth? http://tfl.nu/ukqr
  Replies (22) Good night (5140) Bad night (1261)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.

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  (315): Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication. http://tfl.nu/41jl
  Replies (18) Good night (1256) Bad night (2811)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend

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  (517): i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend http://tfl.nu/by4o
  Replies (7) Good night (5839) Bad night (1566)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.

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  (301): i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk. http://tfl.nu/vlxs
  Replies (11) Good night (3888) Bad night (1562)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  he quoted the bible to break up with me

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  (570): he quoted the bible to break up with me http://tfl.nu/7gni
  Replies (21) Good night (1391) Bad night (5179)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.

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  (513): I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote. (513): I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now. http://tfl.nu/2ikr
  Replies (17) Good night (699) Bad night (1594)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.

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  (201): I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world. (540): I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him. http://tfl.nu/0ulc
  Replies (6) Good night (644) Bad night (1594)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.

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  (484): I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive. http://tfl.nu/gosk
  Replies (4) Good night (4290) Bad night (605)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.

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  (813): I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex. http://tfl.nu/7adn
  Replies (2) Good night (1722) Bad night (711)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!

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  (360): DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!! http://tfl.nu/2uub
  Replies (8) Good night (656) Bad night (1019)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children

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  (931): I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children http://tfl.nu/92r8
  Replies (4) Good night (801) Bad night (265)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.

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  (570): Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home. http://tfl.nu/ff77
  Replies (1) Good night (456) Bad night (149)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.

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  (902): I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants. http://tfl.nu/7sqj
  Replies (0) Good night (430) Bad night (126)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING

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  (320): I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING http://tfl.nu/fcp6
  Replies (9) Good night (636) Bad night (141)

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