so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
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We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
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You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.