Texts From Last Night

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  (360): View more from Washington

  You know you think of me naked too

  (210): View more from Texas

  Not since I found Jesus

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  (360): You know you think of me naked too (210): Not since I found Jesus http://tfl.nu/jext
  Replies (14) Good night (743) Bad night (1483)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?

  (619): View more from California

  hahahahahahahahahahaha

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  (949): Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth? (619): hahahahahahahahahahaha http://tfl.nu/hwol
  Replies (45) Good night (3308) Bad night (1022)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?

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  (907): so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go? http://tfl.nu/synh
  Replies (12) Good night (679) Bad night (2340)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother

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  (561): As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother http://tfl.nu/1acl
  Replies (21) Good night (2210) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.

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  (402): Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later. http://tfl.nu/06o9
  Replies (42) Good night (5944) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.

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  (203): He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later. http://tfl.nu/9zcr
  Replies (33) Good night (11131) Bad night (792)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.

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  (305): I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry. http://tfl.nu/el5m
  Replies (65) Good night (1013) Bad night (4562)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  You are an asshole

  (574): View more from Indiana

  haha sleeping beauty awakes.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Where did you find this costume?

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  (616): You are an asshole (574): haha sleeping beauty awakes. (616): Where did you find this costume? http://tfl.nu/m4ai
  Replies (32) Good night (12456) Bad night (932)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?

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  (757): Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode? http://tfl.nu/1peu
  Replies (15) Good night (5080) Bad night (1217)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.

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  (401): I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy. http://tfl.nu/4ar4
  Replies (38) Good night (5878) Bad night (1185)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.

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  (580): He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics. http://tfl.nu/564h
  Replies (7) Good night (2621) Bad night (1044)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm

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  (678): in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm http://tfl.nu/30ts
  Replies (3) Good night (1909) Bad night (1057)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.

  (315): View more from New York

  They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.

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  (315): So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers. (315): They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair. http://tfl.nu/om27
  Replies (10) Good night (1585) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago

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  (262): Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago http://tfl.nu/39ul
  Replies (3) Good night (1872) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.

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  (724): We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila. http://tfl.nu/zwy5
  Replies (5) Good night (1070) Bad night (526)

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