i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Send help, water and tortillas.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
