peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
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Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Mom said you looked used
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
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Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing