no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
