I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
