I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
