I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
