shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
