I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
