goodnight i made you a song goodbye
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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