What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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