Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
