yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
