This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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