we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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