She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
