anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize