pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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