oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
