if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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