I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Enjoy the penises
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
