the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
