i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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