All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize