If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
