Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
