I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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