Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
