pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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