The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She's the barista slut.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
