So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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