I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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