Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize