two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Less talking, more tequila
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
