that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
