Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
