life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
