You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize