so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
The struggles of a small town man whore
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
