Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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