This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
