sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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