One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
should my penis look like a turkey
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
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