S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
