I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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