hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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