i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
