Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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