Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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