he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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