boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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