Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
