this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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