he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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