He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
