Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Your dad touched me again.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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