Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
