his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
