Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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