im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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