It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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