she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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