he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize