please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
