hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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