I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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