Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I think a kid would responsible me up
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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