tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
