Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
