Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
