I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
